Do You Want To Save Your Marriage

I have one question for you: do you want to save your marriage?  If the answer is yes, you have a hard road ahead of you.  But, before you start down that path, you have to answer this question in the affirmative.

Take a hard look at the state of your marriage.  Is this the person you want to be with in five years?

If not, you don't need to read any further.  Just go down to the closest divorce attorney.

Still with me?  Good.  I'm going to show you how to save your marriage.

Once you have decided that your marriage is worth saving, you can start to do the work that is necessary.  Don't even think about going to the divorce lawyer any more.  You've made the commitment to stick with your relationship.

Now that you have put divorce out of your mind, accept that there will have to be changes in the relationship.  If you want the relationship to work more than your partner does, then you are the one who is going to have to do the most changing.  That's a simple fact.  It is like the person who has the bigger aversion to messiness usually does the most cleaning around the house.  The person who wants the relationship to work more will have to do the most changing.

You have to be prepared to talk more too.  Set aside time to get to know your partner once again.  If he or she has hobbies that they are willing to share with you, get involved even if you are not all that into darts or scrap-booking.

If your partner is willing to agree to it, marriage counseling may be what you need to save your marriage.  A relationship counselor or therapist will be able to look at your marriage from the outside, ask probing questions, and get you to open up to each other.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Once you have the idea out of your head, you will be able to work on what is real and what is good.  These are the standards you should be applying to your marriage.  

Do you want to save your marriage?  Good.  But know the hard work lies ahead.

How To Get Your Ex GF Back Quickly

For anyone that has dabbled in the world of giving relationship advice, the title will actually be a bit of a red herring.  The main reason for this is that the vast majority of successful relationships that re-engage after a breakup are actually going to be relationships that do it very quickly after the initial breakup occurs.  While there are others where the two participants can get back together months or even years after breaking up, usually this is not how things work in the real world.

So, want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly?  Well, the first thing that you need to figure out is whether there is actually a future in that relationship.  If it turns out that there is no future to the relationship, you should start focusing on other goals.  Try to meet new people and push your ex-lover out of your life.  It is much healthier to pursue other options than to try and reignite a relationship that you know will take you nowhere.

If, on the other hand, you feel strongly that getting your girlfriend back can indeed lead to a strong and long relationship, there is no harm in giving it a try.  In this situation, a lot of people make the mistake by taking the direct approach.  They go right up to the girl and ask them if they are interested in starting things up again.  This may work with certain guys, but it is a method that is doomed to failure with just about every ex-girlfriend in the world today.

So what should you do instead?  Well, if you want to do things properly, you need to have your ex see you living a good life.  You need to attend the same social events as they do and then engage them in casual conversation there.  You can even bring a casual date to the events just to show that you are not hung up on trying to get your ex back completely.  The appearance of having moved on is a big thing in these situations because it can make your ex jealous and that in turn can potentially lead to them realizing that they still have feelings for you.

If you want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly, this is essentially the information you're looking for in a nutshell.  Jealously and the realization of feelings can lead your ex to the conclusion that they still want to have you in their life and to be in yours.  This is the only way that you are going to be able to achieve a healthy relationship with your ex.  Unless they realize right here and right now that they still want to share their life with you, this is going to be doomed from the start.

Where you go from that point is up to you.  Also, it is important to realize that your ex might see you and be fine with it, having already moved on herself.  So one way or another, this method will tell you exactly where you and your ex stand.

Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

Image by TalAtlas via Flickr

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.