If you want to get your ex to come back, you need to understand the difference between what works and what doesn't. Don't get sidetracked by semantics. There are people that will argue that any strategy can be successful given the right circumstances. Technically, that is correct. However, are you interested in technicalities if some strategies practically work just once in several lifetimes? Chances are you aren't and that is why we need to clearly divide the different approaches into those that work and those that do not.
Right off the bat, the best approach to take is the one of giving your ex some time and space initially. Remember that regardless of who broke up with whom, your ex is going to need some time in order to get over the breakup itself. They are going to need time and space from you. At this point, if you continue to see them often, you risk alienating them even further and dooming your chances of ever getting back together with them.
Eventually, they'll get over the breakup. At that point, you can start to build your relationship with them again. It is at this point that the successful strategies can diverge. There is the aggressive strategy and the conservative one from this point.
The aggressive strategy calls for you to really ramp things up and gamble on them not really being committed to the breakup. You can push them a bit harder with the aggressive strategy, but you still need to walk the line in order to make sure that you don't overdo things. If you do, you risk the strategy backfiring and you losing your ex both as a potential lover and as a potential friend.
Many people are interested in staying friends with their ex even if they can't get them to come back. If you want to make sure that your ex is your friend if you can't get your ex to come back, the conservative strategy is the one for you to take. This involves slowly letting the relationship build and then going from good friends to lovers when the opportunity presents itself. Do not push your ex and do not push yourself. You've got time as friends that you can treasure until the opportune moment comes.
This strategy is often less successful at getting back to a romantic relationship than the aggressive one because the opportunities for change are fewer when you're being conservative. However, it doesn't have the same blowback potential that the aggressive one has and therefore is better overall for making sure that you maintain some kind of positive relationship with your ex, even if that relationship is non-romantic in nature.
In the end, the decision that you make will have a lot to do with the priorities that you have. If you definitely want your ex back romantically and don't care about their friendship, you're more likely to go aggressive. If you want to preserve some kind of relationship with them at all costs, conservative is the obvious choice.
Showing posts with label Society and Culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Society and Culture. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
5 Ways To Get Your Ex Back
Image via Wikipedia
1 - Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.
2 - Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.
3 - Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.
4 - Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.
5 - Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.
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