Wednesday, September 30, 2009

How To Get Your Ex GF Back Quickly

For anyone that has dabbled in the world of giving relationship advice, the title will actually be a bit of a red herring.  The main reason for this is that the vast majority of successful relationships that re-engage after a breakup are actually going to be relationships that do it very quickly after the initial breakup occurs.  While there are others where the two participants can get back together months or even years after breaking up, usually this is not how things work in the real world.

So, want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly?  Well, the first thing that you need to figure out is whether there is actually a future in that relationship.  If it turns out that there is no future to the relationship, you should start focusing on other goals.  Try to meet new people and push your ex-lover out of your life.  It is much healthier to pursue other options than to try and reignite a relationship that you know will take you nowhere.

If, on the other hand, you feel strongly that getting your girlfriend back can indeed lead to a strong and long relationship, there is no harm in giving it a try.  In this situation, a lot of people make the mistake by taking the direct approach.  They go right up to the girl and ask them if they are interested in starting things up again.  This may work with certain guys, but it is a method that is doomed to failure with just about every ex-girlfriend in the world today.

So what should you do instead?  Well, if you want to do things properly, you need to have your ex see you living a good life.  You need to attend the same social events as they do and then engage them in casual conversation there.  You can even bring a casual date to the events just to show that you are not hung up on trying to get your ex back completely.  The appearance of having moved on is a big thing in these situations because it can make your ex jealous and that in turn can potentially lead to them realizing that they still have feelings for you.

If you want to know how to get your ex GF back quickly, this is essentially the information you're looking for in a nutshell.  Jealously and the realization of feelings can lead your ex to the conclusion that they still want to have you in their life and to be in yours.  This is the only way that you are going to be able to achieve a healthy relationship with your ex.  Unless they realize right here and right now that they still want to share their life with you, this is going to be doomed from the start.

Where you go from that point is up to you.  Also, it is important to realize that your ex might see you and be fine with it, having already moved on herself.  So one way or another, this method will tell you exactly where you and your ex stand.
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Get Your Ex To Come Back What Works And What Does Not

If you want to get your ex to come back, you need to understand the difference between what works and what doesn't.  Don't get sidetracked by semantics.  There are people that will argue that any strategy can be successful given the right circumstances.  Technically, that is correct.  However, are you interested in technicalities if some strategies practically work just once in several lifetimes?  Chances are you aren't and that is why we need to clearly divide the different approaches into those that work and those that do not.

Right off the bat, the best approach to take is the one of giving your ex some time and space initially.  Remember that regardless of who broke up with whom, your ex is going to need some time in order to get over the breakup itself.  They are going to need time and space from you.  At this point, if you continue to see them often, you risk alienating them even further and dooming your chances of ever getting back together with them.

Eventually, they'll get over the breakup.  At that point, you can start to build your relationship with them again.  It is at this point that the successful strategies can diverge.  There is the aggressive strategy and the conservative one from this point.

The aggressive strategy calls for you to really ramp things up and gamble on them not really being committed to the breakup.  You can push them a bit harder with the aggressive strategy, but you still need to walk the line in order to make sure that you don't overdo things.  If you do, you risk the strategy backfiring and you losing your ex both as a potential lover and as a potential friend.

Many people are interested in staying friends with their ex even if they can't get them to come back.  If you want to make sure that your ex is your friend if you can't get your ex to come back, the conservative strategy is the one for you to take.  This involves slowly letting the relationship build and then going from good friends to lovers when the opportunity presents itself.  Do not push your ex and do not push yourself.  You've got time as friends that you can treasure until the opportune moment comes.  

This strategy is often less successful at getting back to a romantic relationship than the aggressive one because the opportunities for change are fewer when you're being conservative.  However, it doesn't have the same blowback potential that the aggressive one has and therefore is better overall for making sure that you maintain some kind of positive relationship with your ex, even if that relationship is non-romantic in nature.

In the end, the decision that you make will have a lot to do with the priorities that you have.  If you definitely want your ex back romantically and don't care about their friendship, you're more likely to go aggressive.  If you want to preserve some kind of relationship with them at all costs, conservative is the obvious choice.
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Monday, September 28, 2009

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - A Sure Fire Method

If you are someone that has had to suffer the sting of getting dumped by a boyfriend, you can trust that there are many around the world that feel your pain.  Many right now are wondering exactly the same thing that you are. 

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, there is one thing that you must understand right now.  While you might definitely be able to get your lover back after time spent apart, what you need to realize right now is that there might be a chance that it never happens.  There are many old clichés about love, but a lot of them do apply to situations where people have had love denied to them by someone that used to be integral to their lives.  The best thing that you can do for your life is prepare yourself to move on if it turns out that your ex is gone for good.  This is the healthiest solution for anyone of any gender in the situation of pursuing an ex.

If you're determined to have your ex back and understand the risks mentioned above, here are some things that you can do in order to make that work.

For starters, the thing you must not do if you want to properly execute the plan is pester your ex.  You wanted to know how to get your ex boyfriend back and this is exactly what the answer to that question is.  The more you pester your former love, the more they will pull away from you.  If you ever want to see them back in your life as that special someone, you need to give them breathing room and make them realize just how desirable you are.  If they don't make that realization, you will never have that connection with them again.

What's the best way to help them along to this realization?  Really, it is just to make yourself into a person that is very desirable.  The good news here is that since your ex by definition already had to have been in a relationship with you before, they must find you desirable on some level.  So the only work you need to do is make sure that you live generally happily and that you are warm and outgoing to others when you are in the presence of your ex.  The more they see that you seem to have adjusted healthily to life without them, the more likely they are to want to be in your life again.

The same is true for when you manage to get a date with your ex once more.  Many people at this point would be tempted to shift all the way back into relationship mode.  That is a disaster that you must avoid at all costs.  Continue with the plan and you'll have the best chance of producing the results that you want.  This is not a sure method for getting your ex lover back, but it is definitely the one that has the best odds of working.
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Saturday, September 26, 2009

How To Get Your Ex To Fall Back In Love

The bad news, when it comes to finding out how to get your ex to fall back in love, is that your ex really hates you right now because they've dumped you.  Therefore, you are going to need to be very delicate about getting them back to the place they were at when they were in love with you.

However, the good news is that since you are trying to get your ex-lover to fall back in love with you, by definition they must have fallen in love with you the first time around.  The good news from that is that since they have fallen in love with you once already, there is definitely a chance for them to be able to do it again.

But how do you get them to go from that theoretically realization to actually making it happen?  That is not as easy.  However, you need to fight the urge to yell and scream at them while pressuring them back into the relationship.  This is how most people would react and it is definitely the bad way of doing things.  Even if it ends up working in the end, you'll be getting into an unhealthy relationship that likely won't end well for you or your ex.  If you really care about them, you shouldn't want that for them.

One of primary things that you should do in order to get them back to the place where they were in love with you is show them the person that you were.  Chances are good that you changed from the person they fell in love with to the person they dumped.  You need to rediscover the person inside you that they fell in love with and show them that person whenever you see them around.  This may seem a bit obvious, but it is definitely something that can work if you carry it through to its end.  It is an obvious strategy, but one that is difficult to accomplish.

Pride and stubbornness are two things that will do you in when you are learning how to get your ex to fall back in love.  If you cling to the old arguments, you are sunk before you begin.  This is especially true if some of those arguments are the ones that led to the breakup in the first place.  All of that needs to be put aside if you are serious about once again winning the affections of your ex.

Will this plan guarantee that you will be able to rediscover the love that your ex had for you?  No it will not.  But then again, there is no plan out there that can actually do this for you.  What this plan will do is allow you the best chance of reconnecting with your ex.  It will peel everything that your ex disliked about you when they dumped you away and reveal the person underneath that they fell in love with.  There is no better plan for trying to win them back.
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Friday, September 25, 2009

Find Out How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

If you are someone that is trying to find out how to get your ex girlfriend back, there is good news and bad news.  Most people like the bad news first, so here goes.  The bad news is that there is no sure fire method for getting your ex-lover back.  The fact of the matter is that many exes are gone for good and at some point you might end up having to deal with that and move on.

That was the bad news.  The good news is that if you are willing to control a lot of your more natural instincts, you could end up finding that your ex has started to become interested in you once again.

The first instinct that you need to control is the instinct to yell and scream at your ex every time that you see them around.  This is a very natural instinct, especially if you were shocked by the breakup and feel betrayed by your ex-lover.  However, it is an instinct that you need to curb right here and right now if you ever want a decent shot at getting her back again.  The more civil you are to her, the more likely it is that she will become interested in you once again.  So return her things that were at your place when you next see her and always be prepared to laugh and be merry around her.  They might not seem like big things to you right now, but they could be the tipping point in the future.

The second instinct that you need to control is the instinct to decide right away how things are going to happen.  Many people do not really care one way or the other whether their ex has a relationship far away from them or close to them so long as they know what the relationship will be right away.  This is wrong.  You should let your post-romance relationship develop naturally.  With some exes, your best position is being the person they see every now and then at parties.  With some, you can eventually become a best friend and a confidant.  Take it slow and let them decide which way things will go.  Both of these positions can lead to successful re-ignition of a relationship, so keep that in mind when trying to curb this instinct.

Finally, the third instinct that you need to curb if you ever want to successfully find out how to get your ex girlfriend back is the instinct to force the issue.  Many people will force the issue with their ex, forcing them to make a decision when they really are not ready for it.  If you force the issue right away, obviously you'll get a no from the ex.  After all, she just broke up with you!  You don't want to force the issue.  Instead, you want to sit back and give them the space they need, pushing slowly later on after they have gotten over the feelings that made them dump you in the first place.
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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:
The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex girl back is to simply be yourself.  If you really want to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to in the first place.  Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you.  You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the great person that you are.  Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:

Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better.  This is actually another one of those tips that is counterintuitive for some people.  A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them.  This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good.  Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you.  Give them that space and respect their privacy.  Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they'll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

Move On Slowly:

Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly.  This is not something that'll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back.  What it'll do for you however is start to put your mind back into healthy mode.  Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship.  Most of the time, they're not coming back to you.  If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally.  That'll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don't Blow Opportunities:

The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment.  If you do the things discussed above, your ex might start to take an interest in you again.  If she does, make sure that you keep on doing those things.  Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not pester them.  If you suddenly start to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you will destroy all the progress you've made.
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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Is Writing Letters To Get Your Ex Back Really A Good Idea

 Here is a question that people have all the time.  Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea?  There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis.  Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it.  The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express.  There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they'd ever be able to say verbally.  So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal.  People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges.  The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don't have the gumption to do it this way.  Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships.  If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters.  Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that.  Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate.  The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back.  Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach.  If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach.  The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach.  Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along.  That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters.  This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.
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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What To Do When You Miss Your Ex

Do you miss your ex?  Are you having trouble moving on?  Here are seven strategies to pursue when you miss your ex.

1.    Decide that it is over.  As long as you think there is a chance to get back together, you will continue to experience feelings of missing your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.  If you practice strategies like texting or phoning them trying to catch them off guard, you will continue to keep the feelings alive.  When you miss your ex, try one of the other strategies presented here.

2.    Get rid of all of their stuff.  Do an exchange where you give them their stuff and they give you yours.  Don't hold on to physical items for sentimental reasons, it will just remind you of how much you miss your ex.  If there are small things that you don't give back (such as a tooth brush or a comb) throw them away.  You don't need the constant reminders.

3.    Write them a letter, then burn it.  One reason why you continue to miss your ex is because you haven't gotten them out of your system.  So, write a letter pouring out all of your feelings about the relationship and the break up.  When you have released your emotions, then get rid of the letter.  There is something emotionally satisfying about watching your words go up in smoke.

4.    Reconnect with your friends.  Sometimes when you get in a hot and heavy relationship, your ties to friends and even family wither.  If this is the case, reconnect with your friends.  Redevelop relationships that you have let simmer.  Your friends and family love you even if your ex doesn't anymore.

5.    Make new friends.  One of the reasons you miss your ex is because he or she took up so much of your time.  Now, in addition to the intense emotional void you are feeling, you have time on your hands.  Fill that time with new activities or interests.  Take a class at the local university's extension program.  Learn to do the tango.  Join a co-ed softball team.  Volunteer to clean up the park through an environmental program.  When you keep busy, you will find that closing the time void also helps you close the emotional void.

6.    Get a pet.  A dog, cat, or other pet can help you reconnect to what is real.  A pet needs your attention and love.  A pet can also give you love.  When you miss your ex, you can reach out for a pet who loves you.

7.    Start dating other people.  The world moves on.  There are lots of other fish in the sea.  Once you reconnect with your friends, start new activities, and even start to walk the dog, you will begin to see all of the opportunities you have with the opposite sex.  Don't worry that a first date has to lead to a complicated relationship when you are not ready for one.  Just go out and enjoy yourself.  Soon, you will stop feeling that you miss your ex so much.

Follow these seven steps and you will soon find that you are not saying you miss your ex at all!

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