Monday, October 26, 2009

How Do I Get Back With Ex Husband

From http://divorcerightstips.blogspot.com/

Divorce.  Yuck! Now that you've gone through that hell on Earth you may be starting to think that the whole thing was a huge mistake.  If you want to know how to get back with ex husband this article can help. 

If you went to a therapist after your divorce and asked how to get back with your ex one of the first things they would probably do is ask you why you wanted to take them back. 

That is a good question.  If you have had time to honestly evaluate your marriage and have come to the conclusion that you ended it too soon without trying hard enough to save it then that's one thing. 

But if you, like so many others, are just now facing the fear and uncertainty of being newly single and are starting to think being in a bad marriage is better than being alone you really need to  find some help to get over the feelings of loneliness and depression before you do something you'll regret. 

If you're positive that getting back with your ex is the best thing for both of you, here are a  few simple steps you can follow:

1) Try to talk to him.  Not yell or nag, but talk.  And listen.  Try to honestly and maturely discuss why the relationship ended.  What misunderstandings took you so far away from one another.  

If the two of you can honestly discuss how you're feeling, without recriminations, than you might actually see that you're not that far apart after all.  You have just been coming at it from opposite directions. 

2) Take some time to honestly evaluate what part you played in the deterioration of your marriage.  No one is ever completely blameless.  What was your part and are you willing to change whatever behavior it was that contributed to the breakup?

3) Try to find resources that will help the two of you communicate.  So many couples just have a hard time expressing themselves and listening to their partners.  If you can find a way to work around this you might have a shot at not only getting back with your ex but also of making your marriage what you'd truly like it to be. 

Divorce is one of the ugliest and most difficult things we can go through.  If you've come to the conclusion that yours was a mistake and you want to know how to  get back with ex husband then following these tips will be a good first step in the right direction.
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Thursday, October 22, 2009

How Can I Save Our Relationship- Is It Even Possible

I'm sorry.  If you're reading this you must be having a very rough time in your relationship.  I know how difficult that can be.  If you are asking, 'How can I save our relationship?" I do have some tips that might be able to make a difference for you and your partner.

There are a few things you have to consider very carefully and honestly first.  You have to decide why you want to save your relationship.  That might sound like a dumb comment to make but sometimes we cling to things that we should just let go.  We cling for the wrong reasons such as fear of being alone.  Before you invest too much time and emotion in trying to save your relationship first make sure that it should be saved.

Now that you've done your honest soul searching and  you've decided that your relationship is worth saving here are a few tips you can follow which should help:

1) It's not all about you.  So often in relationships one person tends to carry more of the burden.  They are the 'fixer'.  They are the ones who carry most of the emotional baggage.  If that person is you than you have to realize that you can't do it all.  If your relationship is going to be saved your partner has to be able, and willing, to meet you halfway.

2) Try to communicate without condemning or criticizing.  When a relationship starts to falter there are a lot of hurt feelings and frustrations from both parties.  These hurts can build up into a huge wall of resentment.  That wall is very tough to tear down.  It will take a lot of time, patience, and open communication.

If the two of you aren't good at communicating you might need to find resources such as a book or counseling, that can help you work on your communication skills.

3) Own it.  If you've screwed up you need to be a mature adult and admit your mistake and apologize for it.  This is key.  Remember in step 2 when I talked about resentments building up? You can do a lot to ease those resentments if you just own up to your mistakes and offer a sincere apology for the hurt you may have caused.  To someone who loves you and wants to make things work this will be a very sweet sound.

Follow these 3 steps and you will be well on  your way to answering the question " how can i save our relationship?".  Remember, the problems didn't spring up overnight and they're not going to go away overnight either.  But if the two of you are willing to work together you can get back the loving, fulfilling relationship you both want.
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